Son of a Clone Trooper - Son of a Witch

Pressure, indescribable pressure, that’s what I’m feeling.  It hangs in the air here like a cloud. It’s heavy and constricting making me almost claustrophobic.  The Force here is thick and menacing, not like it was on the Sanctuary Moon.  It’s everywhere, strong, untamed, uninhibited and scary; yet at the same time enticing and seductive.  I can feel her too, closing in on me, albeit tentatively.  There feels to be a tangible weight moving towards me.  She has others with her, but I can feel her through it all.  I thought to mount a defense using the weapons on the shuttle, but I knew that wouldn’t avail me.  My father told me about how they overcame a fortified Imperial prison with little effort.  My meager powers and lone transport shuttle would be no match for an army of man hating Force witches and their monstrous pets.  Besides, if I didn’t feel so compelled to find out why I am here then I would simply leave.  No, I want to be here.  Why?  I have no idea, but I do.  She is my reason for staying on this hellish ball of rotating death called a planet.  It wouldn’t make much sense to try and kill her.  If only I could stop the crushing pressure around me.

For days I sat in this shuttle.  I would stare out the windows and at the viewscreen watching the beasts of this world paw, scratch, bite and even relieve themselves on and at my shuttle.  It was recently claimed by the biggest rancor I have seen through a process I could only describe as disturbing.  Boredom eventually got the better of me.  I mean, I braved a Krayt Dragon on Tatooine and Mandalorians on the forest moon.  I was pretty sure I could handle surveying a few dozen meters from the relative safety of my shuttle.

I lowered the ramp and stepped out onto the hard ground.  The heat and humidity assaulted me immediately.  It was almost as bad as the assault on my Force senses.  As I walked around, I discovered that the landscape was just as inhospitable as the life forms.  Jagged mountains gashed by deep jungle filled valleys extended as far as the eye could see.  Scraggly, crooked trees littered the plateaus and mountain tops while towering behemoths of trees cloistered the valley floors.  Even in daylight it was very dark as if the light of its nearest star was afraid to get too close.  Yet life thrived here, even with the darkest of energies flowing through the planet.  Some of the creatures too, seemed fairly passive, though they certainly were the minority.  Were it not for sheer size or speed, they likely wouldn’t have been able to survive with all the predators around.

I wandered for a long time, feeling my way around more than seeing.  It wasn’t until I heard the sound of my own lightsaber igniting in my hand that I realized I had been wandering in a near trance for quite some time.  I had strayed much farther from my ship than I had wanted to and was now standing a mere 100 meters from a nest of horribly ugly, leathery skinned, flightless birds.  The smell of singed flesh permeated the air.  I looked down at my feet to see one of the birds lying, cut in two by my lightsaber.  The others eyed me intently.  I could feel the aggression coming from them.  I had a clear size and strength advantage over them, but they seemed to pay no heed and charged me.

I was like a puppet on strings and someone else was in control.  My saber flashed quickly, dancing through the air, severing leather bird parts.  Lightning arced from my fingertips in an electric light show.  I moved acrobatically, nimbly jumping, dodging and lunging at precise moments.  I was a spectator at a show where my body was the star.  If it were possible, I am sure my eyes would have emitted rays of death at them.

Before I knew what had happened, it was over.  Corpses knee deep littered the ground around me.  The vile little critters had not bargained for that.  Nor had I for that matter.  I am not sure really what happened other than the fact that my body did things as fast, or faster than my mind could process them.  I started to head back to the ship having had enough excitement for one day.  I looked back to see scavengers of all types descending upon the feast I had left them.  It was a gruesome spectacle.

Since then I have wandered out every day observing the environment and keeping a lookout for her.  Knowing that my body is capable of the things it did, I don’t worry too much about being caught outside other than running into King Scaly (that’s what I named him), the clawed, toothy owner of this territory.  Of course I haven’t seen him since he violated my shuttle last week, nor any other rancors for that matter.  He probably has a large territory he patrols.  I keep my eyes, ears and Force senses attuned though.  I don’t want to get caught by him.  I don’t think any manner of acrobatic, lightsaber flurrying, lightning producing attack will easily bring that beast down.  I would like to live to see my mother, even if she kills me when we meet.

Hey speaking of the king of the beasts, I think I hear him coming now.  The grumbling voice and tremors in the ground definitely preclude his arrival.  He must be an ambush predator because he certainly couldn’t sneak up on anything making all that noise.  I’d better raise the ramp before he gets here lest he decide to have a peek inside. 

Ok, the ramp is up and he is getting very close now.  I am panning the area in the viewscreen while typing this out and looking for him.  He’s got to be cresting a ridge soon.  I can feel him coming through The Force.  And I can feel something else too… something… OH!  She’s with him and there are more.  Yes many more!  I can hear them now!  I’ll be a rancor’s chew toy; she’s riding on King Scaly’s gigantic head!  Wow, some of her friends are riding rancors too!  I am suddenly questioning my motivation for staying here.

So that’s my mother out there at the head of an army of witches.  I would have expected the Queen of the Nightsisters to be wearing more clothing.  However, what she is wearing is quite ornate.  Dark flat colored material with black gloss scrollwork forms a pair of triangles, wide at the sides of her body narrowing until it they join each other in the middle of her chest.  The same dark material with gold edges band her torso exposing most of her skin.   More bands of that same gold edged material of varying widths encircle portions of her arms from the wrist to the bicep.  Her shoulders are armored though they are partially obscured by a display of black feathers.  Her hood’s outer edge is patterned with ancient symbols and a crown of boney claws protrudes out from under the front of it.  At her waist, a belt of bones holds up a long flowing and ornately decorated skirt.  But the thing most noticeable are her eyes.  No amount of darkness from under her hood can obscure their glowing yellow color.  She sees me with those eyes, looking at me through the viewscreen as if I were standing in front of her.  The time has arrived.  I must go outside and confront her.

Son of a Clone Trooper - This Doesn't Look Like Nar Shadaa

The Force is a strange thing.  The stories I have heard just don’t seem to compare when I see what’s happening in my life.  It’s as if it has a plan and nothing I can do will alter it.  Did it want me to come around full circle, or is this just a bit of closure to an open part of my life?  If it is coming around full circle, does that mean I am going to get dead?  I certainly hope not, I rather like being alive.  Of course, I rather liked it on the Sanctuary Moon too.  I also thought I was headed to Nar Shadaa, or at least that’s where I told the navicomputer on the shuttle to take me.  Instead, my landing pads are sitting in the soft soil of one of the most dark and foreboding planets in the galaxy.  I should be mixed in with smugglers and gangsters right now enjoying a drink at a cantina.  Instead, I am here, the place where my life began.  I am on Dathomir and I am not quite sure how it happened.

Needless to say, I had to leave the Sanctuary Moon.  It was a wonderful place despite the goraxes, Mandalorians and Imperials, but unfortunately when old iron lung himself, Darth Vader arrived, I knew it was time to beat a hasty retreat.  I am not sure why he was there, and I didn’t want to find out.  Of course it wasn’t all blue skies and sunshine either.  I spent a bit of time imprisoned in the Mandalorian (they called themselves the Death Watch) bunker.  That wasn’t all that pleasant, but when I explained my situation to them, they decided that they would have some fun with me (knowing I was far from properly trained).  I had to have a duel with one of their warriors.  Were I to win then my freedom would be granted.  On the other hand, were I to lose, well, we’ll just say that I wouldn’t be breathing long enough to even be a slave to them.  As fate would have it, I was pitted against the guy who properly whooped up on me down by the lake.

The duel pretty much picked up where we had left off, with me trying to escape his savage blows.  He used me like a training drone and just beat on me for what seemed like forever.  None of my attempts at a controlled attack using The Force or my lightsaber had done any good.  He pushed through my lightning; he rolled off my telekinetic pushes and dodged every swipe of my lightsaber.  I must have inherited my father’s resilience though because I a managed to stay conscious through it and moreover mount a counterattack.  Bleeding, swollen and in significant amounts of pain, I turned to my instincts alone.  Suddenly I was bouncing around like a rubber ball in zero gravity all the while dodging his every move and counterattacking with strikes from my saber and flesh searing blasts of lightning.  Credit must be given where it is due though.  My opponent’s armor was first rate and he was tough enough to withstand nearly everything I threw at him.  It wasn’t until I tapped into a power I didn’t realize I had that I won the fight.  I literally compressed the air around him, making it heavier and more oppressive by the second, sealing him in a telekinetic prison and eventually squeezing the very life out of him.  It earned me my freedom as well as a reprieve from the bludgeoning I had been taking.

I headed back to my camp and prepared to relax and enjoy the fact that I no longer had any major worries on the moon when a pang of panic hit me. I couldn’t put my finger on why it happened or what it was, but I did have a sense of where it was coming from.  I followed the feeling to its source and found myself hiding in the bushes and watching what must have been an entire legion of Imperial troops climbing out of transports.  One of them was Vader.  He was barking orders, choking the odd officer with his mind and coordinating the troops when he stopped and just started scanning the perimeter of the staging area.  Things went on around him but he was looking for something and I could only assume it was me.

I quickly and quietly returned to my camp and threw my emergency escape gear into the shuttle and took off.  I mean if I could sense him, then he surely could sense me.  I punched in the coordinates to Nar Shadaa and jumped into hyperspace.  Now, here I am, not on Nar Shadaa but on Dathomir and contemplating my next move.  I can feel The Force all around me and also similar feelings to those I felt with regards to The Emperor’s whipping boy in black.  That can only mean there are lots of Force users here.  It could work to my benefit though by masking me into the mix.  I am guessing that’s not my reason for being here.  No, my guess is that fate has the cruelest of jokes in mind; a reunion with my mother.

Even as I am typing this I can feel her through some tendril of The Force that connects us.  She is aware of me as well.  I don’t know how I know, I just know.  Every bit of my rational mind is screaming for me to leave, but I am compelled, beyond all reason, to stay.  So here I sit, writing this holoblog hoping that I am not making a mistake; wondering if perhaps this could be a good, rather than a bad thing.  She is an experienced Force user after all.  Perhaps she could teach me things and help me to understand and use this power better.  In the meantime I think I will stay aboard the ship and survey the landscape from relative safety.  From what my father told me, this place is crawling with things that would love nothing more than to literally have me for dinner.  In the time since I started writing this I have already seen a spider twice my size and two rancors wandering about and that doesn’t even touch on the countless skulking eyes I can feel upon the ship.  It’s better in here than out there.

Son of a Clone Trooper - I < Mandalorians

No wonder Jedi start their training at conception.  This using The Force stuff is challenging.  Some things seem to come pretty naturally.  Moving stuff, pushing stuff, pulling stuff, other general concepts from the telekinetic gambit are all fairly easy.  However, some of the things I had managed in the past like lightning and mind tricks, well, those are quite challenging.  I tried to mind trick a small animal into chasing its own tail and the little bugger bit me on the leg.  The lightning was another monster altogether, but I think I figured it out.  When that critter bit me I instinctively cooked him with that most wonderful fingertip lightning.  He was tasty too, I might add.  It seems that when I am acting on impulse with raw emotion, that I am able to conjure it up.  I am still having a hard time controlling it, but I can now get lesser versions of my accidental lightning on a fairly consistent basis by channeling my emotions.  It’s not the face melting power of the inadvertent stuff, but man is it fun.  Starting a camp fire is quite easy now, and hunting for food becomes cooking food at the same time.

On another note, Mandalorians are some seriously tough people.  I was off practicing with my lightsaber near a lake.  I thought I was fairly secluded when all of a sudden I got a feeling and swung my lightsaber just in time to deflect a blaster bolt.  It seems that the local mercenaries aren’t too fond of Jedi.  It also seems that they are Mandalorians.  I wasn’t about to sit around and let that guy take pot shots at me, so I charged at him.  I figured closing the gap and tearing him up with a lightsaber would be the best thing.  I was so very wrong.  He pulled out a Cortosis weave vibroblade which promptly disrupted the plasma flow of my lightsaber and rendered it all but useless on first strike.  He then punched me...... HARD!  Man did that hurt!  Sitting in the dirt I used The Force to chuck a rock at his head.  It hit pretty hard but barely seemed to faze him.  I did it again, and, and again and the guy just kept coming.  So I used my power to push him directly.  Handily that did work and he went flying into a tree.  Then he got up again, and drew his blaster, taking a shot.  I ducked and rolled behind a bolder right about the time my lightsaber sparked back to life.  I jumped up and went to throw him back into a tree again.  I extended my hand and pow!  Lightning arced out and made contact with him.

Now at that point I figured the altercation was over.  Again, I was mistaken.  He got up, still smoldering and charged me.  If it weren’t for the fact that I was in imminent danger, I would have probably stood in awe at his intensity and sheer durability.  But since it seemed he had my worst intentions in mind, I decide to beat a hasty retreat.  It was clear to me that my skills were not sufficient to deal with him.  I hit him with another force push and ran.  I had no idea he was a Mandalorian until I heard something about Mandalore being shouted from behind me.  Oh, and apparently The Force allows me to run very quickly as well.  That will come in handy if I run into those guys again.  Though, they are likely to be hunting me at this point.  Perhaps I can seek refuge in that cave if they find me here.

In the meantime, I will just keep practicing on my skills.  I really don’t feel like heading to a new planet.  I rather like it here, and it’s quite isolated.  Still, I will have to count on leaving if I can’t deal with the mercenaries, or if the Empire escalates their presence here.  I will figure an escape route and decide which system to go to next if I have to flee this one.  There are many to choose from.  Lower population would be good, but perhaps hiding in plain sight might be smarter.  Someplace like Nar Shadaa might work.  It doesn’t matter much though.  I just need to make sure I have a good escape plan in place so I had better stop diddling around on here and get to planning.

Son of a Clone Trooper - My Lightsaber Makes the Coolest Noises

Lightsaber here I come.  You know that cave I was talking about a couple weeks ago?  Yeah, it seems I felt it calling because the thing was filled with crystals many of which were imbued with Force energy.  It was amazing.  It was like they knew I was here and were calling out to me.  I fear that if someone not Force Sensitive were to walk into that cave that they wouldn’t see the sights that I saw.  Instead I will try to describe them the best I can.  It was truly an amazing sight to behold.

I entered that cave with some trepidation having no idea what I would encounter.  I had seen some pretty dangerous looking animals in my exploration of the moon and who knows; perhaps it was some type of lure trying to draw me into a nest of something that wanted to have me for dinner… literally.  That was not to be the case.  I had gone a few hundred meters in heading down a very steep incline.  I distinctly remember looking back towards the cave entrance and seeing the smallest pin prick of light.  If the compulsion to go forward was not so strong I would have turned back at that moment. 

There was no natural light and my data pad really didn’t help much.  It seemed that the darkness simply absorbed its light.  My shins and toes paid the price for my lack of vision but it was a price well worth being paid.  I followed what could only be described as a feeling.  It led deeper and deeper into the cave.  I was beginning to worry that my data pad battery wouldn’t hold out for the return trip.  As it turned out, it didn’t matter.  I rounded a corner and there I beheld the most spectacular of light shows.

The room was filled with dancing light.  Light was everywhere and in all the colors of the spectrum.  Tendrils of light, like smoke, swirled up into the air then diffused against the damp cave walls.  The heat was nearly stifling.  The crystals themselves pulsated with Force energy which released as the colored tendrils.  They appeared nearly ethereal, but I could sense their physical presence as well.  The Force granted me vision to see these crystals in a way that no ordinary eyes could see.  They seemed to interact with each other and their combined energy was beyond anything I had ever experienced.  I wanted to take them all.  The Force had another idea though.

As I walked into the room, the tendrils of light intertwined and formed what looked like a corridor leading to a pair of crystals.  One, a clear crystal pulsed with white light so bright that I couldn’t look directly at it.  The other, whose colored light would spiral around the clear crystal, was the deepest, darkest blue one could possibly imagine.  These were the crystals, the ones that chose me.  I had no doubt about it.  Their energy pulses were synchronized with the beating of my heart.  I reached to pluck them from their rocky roots and the heat emanating from them was searing.  I couldn’t actually grab the crystals directly.  I needed some other means to collect them.

It was then that it dawned on me.  The old desert hermit had taught me about levitating items with the power of The Force.  It was the perfect idea.  The crystals responded with such amazing fluidity.  I suspended them in the air in front of me and used their light to navigate my way out of the cave.  As I moved further and further from the room, the light from the crystals began to dissipate, until I finally reached the entrance of the cave, where they appeared as just normal crystals.  I reached out and found that their temperature had also dropped significantly.  I could still feel the power in them though.  The energy was concentrated but in no way lacked from the power I felt in the cave. 

Something had changed in me while I was in that cave.  I could feel the life around me in a way I had never felt it before.  I could feel every creature and plant around me.  With concentration I could actually focus on specific ones and feel their impulses.  It was all around me.  I could close my eyes and map out the entirety of the moon with two exceptions.  There were two black spots in my visions.  These spots seemed to be devoid of any type of energy.  It was like my Force vision was blind to those spots.  I knew them too.  One was the Imperial bunker I had discovered, and the other was what I had thought to be some sort of mercenary encampment.

I must have stood just outside the entrance of that cave for hours just feeling the world around me.  I had even forgotten about my desire for a lightsaber.  I may have stood there for days were it not for the sound of approaching speeder bikes.  I took cover in some nearby bushes and watched as a couple of scout troopers when screaming past me.  I am guessing they were on patrol.  I don’t know what they expected to find at such high speeds, but it worked out for me.  I headed back to my camp.  It was time to put these crystals to good use.

I spent a week in the shuttle using the workspace and the secret cache of blasters I found on board.  There was lots of trial and error and I went through a number of blasters, stripping them for parts to build my lightsaber.  It takes serious concentration to perform precise movements with The Force.  Without conventional tools, I had to use The Force to bend and shape metal, hold objects, and wire controls.  Admittedly the wiring was my fault.  I didn’t connect the wires internally before I closed up the lightsaber.  Yeah, real smart, I know.  I finally got them to connect.  It’s not pretty, that’s for sure, but at least it works, and quite well I might add.

While the lightsaber works well; I am flawed.  I really need training with this thing, and preferably in a place without objects to accidentally cut apart.  I wonder how many Jedi died during lightsaber training from self-inflicted wounds.  Don’t worry I didn’t do any serious damage to myself, only a couple small scars.  I did crush my shelter with a tree though.  The saber went through the trunk of that tree like it wasn’t even there.  With some training, I could probably take out the entire Imperial bunker with that thing.  Those mercenaries wouldn’t stand a chance either.  I must continue teaching myself once I heal a little.  Oh and did I mention that it makes the coolest noises?  I just hope its humming doesn't attract any large, carnivorous bugs. 

The next things I will work on are my skills with lightning, or more to the point, figure out how I can do it again.  My theory is that it will only work when it’s necessary, or at least that’s the only time I can get it to work.  I must test that theory. 

Son of a Clone Trooper - The Forest Moon

Hell has a special place for dirty rats like Stanko the Toydarian and I am going to make a point of sending him there a little earlier than he had hoped.  That is if I ever go back to that dirt bucket planet.  My last entry was cut abruptly short by the white clad Imperial henchmen known as Storm Troopers.  As I suspected the subject of the entry was the culprit behind my revealed identity.  As I said, he was a revolting creature.  If it weren’t for the fact that I want to do it myself I would wish that Jabba the Hutt would wring his wretched little neck for bringing the Empire to his little corner of the galaxy.  Anyway, survival first, vindication later and then maybe some rest will come afterwards.

Rather than finishing out my previous entry in detail, I will summarize.  Stanko’s rudeness didn’t abate throughout the course of our conversation.  He did offer to purchase my Lambda Shuttle.  Naturally he lowballed me.  I wouldn’t expect anything less, but the price he offered was just plain insulting.  I mean, my father risked life and limb to save me by stealing it and to be offered a paltry eight thousand credits, ugh.  He must’ve thought me a fool, until of course he revealed his diabolical plan to get me to take the price.  Here he was trying to get his hands on a shuttle, which had to have belonged to a Grand Admiral given the level of luxury, for a song to resell it for a mint.  Yeah and he was going to use my history and desire to remain unfound as a bargaining chip.  Now you know how that went.  I gave him a verbal what-for and sent him on his way after managing to resist the urge to vaporize him on the spot.  A real sense of power comes to me when I get angry like that.  It can be quite tough to subdue.

Come to find out, after putting my ear to the ground to help escape the Imperial agents, he had already done the deed and was hoping to make a little cash as well.  Turns out he had a vendetta against Clone Troopers and decided to take it out on me.  It’s a good thing I didn’t sell the ship otherwise I would be stuck on that hole of a planet as some sort of hermit living out in the vast desert.  I am glad it didn’t come to that.

No, I made it off that rock and found my way to the most stunning moon.  I am not sure what it’s called but it’s pretty much covered by forest.  There are some skittish little furry critters that hide in the bushes and jabber a lot.  I don’t always see them, but I can feel them around me all the time.  It feels as if they are constantly watching me.  Regardless, it really is pretty here.  When I got here it appeared that I was the only form of life on this planet with advanced technology.  A little exploring laid that idea to rest.  The Empire is here too.  I see them moving throughout the forest.  They have a big dish being constructed, a reinforced bunker and a fairly large detachment of troops.  They clearly aren’t here for me though so I’m not too worried.

While I was working my way back to my ship on Tatooine I met up with another Force user out in the desert.  He seemed very familiar to me, but I couldn’t place it.  Still, he was amazingly helpful.  He taught me something he called the Jedi Mind Trick and oh my do I love it.  If I ever make it back to Rori I am so going to mess with people.  I already got a Storm Trooper to turn his helmet around backwards and take off running as fast as he could.  And they call what they wear, armor, HA!  He got flat cold cocked when he ran into that wall.  The longer I think about the things I want to do with my new found powers, the bigger my smile gets.  Perhaps being Force Sensitive really isn’t that bad.  Other than being hunted by Emperor Palpatine’s forces, it’s pretty cool.  The old guy even gave me a “schematic” for making my own lightsaber and oh how I want one.   I use the term schematic loosely as it is really just a sketched technical drawing on the back of a cantina napkin.  Hey, I didn’t have anything else to write on at the time.

My father told me about lightsabers though I have never actually seen one in person.  He described them as a laser sword that could deflect blaster bolts and cut through nearly any know material in the galaxy.  How handy would that be when running for your life?  Of course I am looking at this schematic and while most of this stuff is fairly easy to come across, like durasteel, I have no idea where I am going to get other things.  For instance, where does one find a crystal imbued with the power of The Force?  And then I have to somehow tune it with my own resonance?  You have got to be kidding me.  I think it might be awhile before I can actually make one.  I did find other advanced people on the planet too.  They appeared very sophisticated and extremely dangerous.  But perhaps if I could find my way into their supplies I could find some of the things I need.  Admittedly I have become more brazen after my Krayt Dragon incident.

The strangest thing also happened the other day.  I was walking through the forest and got snagged up in some snare trap that the little furry guys set to catch dinner.  It snapped around my ankle with ferocity and whipped me up into the air after dragging my head fifteen feet across the forest floor like some kind of terrestrial broom.  Boy was I pissed.  Remember how I said I could feel power rising in me when I got mad?  Yeah that happened as I dangled, inverted, a few feet above the ground.  As I wallowed in my anger and self-pity I could feel my hands actually getting hot.  I was looking at them and sneezed and wouldn’t you know it, lightning shot out of my finger tips and crashed into the tree branch supporting the snare line.  It was shocking (pun most definitely intended).

The fall wasn’t so bad, nor was the landing; it was only a few feet.  It was the tree branch landing on me that really smarted.  The lightning severed the branch from the tree, which, in accordance with the laws of gravity, managed to find its way across my mid-section.  Don’t worry; I’m not peeing blood anymore. 

I have been trying to figure out how to make the lightning work again, but to no avail.  I will keep practicing as it’s way cooler than just moving stuff around with The Force.  Of course that’s not to say that moving stuff around with The Force is bad.  It keeps me fed without having to make traps.  I just walk up to the river and with a flick of the wrist, I have fish for dinner.  I even had a pig roast the other night.  There are boars in the woods that are as tasty as can be.  Still, that lightning, that stuff was something else.  Now if I could only choke someone with my mind.  Yeah, then my powers would be complete.  Wow, I sounded eerily like Emperor Palpatine there.  I better reel that in.  After all I don’t want to be one his to command like my father was before me.

The last interesting thing about this place is something I found just this morning.  I was, as usual, walking through the forest (not much else to do here) and got a compulsion to head over towards the mountains.  I can’t explain it.  It was almost like something was calling me.  I started following it and it led me along like the smell of fresh meat does a Wookiee.  It took the bulk of the day but here I sit at the mouth of what appears to be a ginormous cave.  I must go in.  The feeling is too intense not to.  I figured that before I wandered in, I should at least complete this entry.  Perhaps if I get stuck in some crevasse that someone reading this might find me before I croak.  That being said, in I go.  If I make it back out alive, I will be sure and post my findings and what was so compelling about the cave.

Son of a Clone Trooper - I > Toydarians

I didn’t think there was anything in the galaxy that I liked less than this planet.  It’s desolate, dry, hot, and the sand infests everything you own.  The location alone has been enough to make me crazy.  That was until the other day when I ran into my first Toydarian and what a vile creature he was.  Jabba’s Gammorean guards have more charisma than that little flying parasite.  His sickly sweet odor and habit of hacking up phlegm every minute or so were enough to make me want to wretch.  I had no idea that simply being near such a being could evoke such a response in me.  You may be asking what could have been that bad.  I’ll tell you.

There I was, walking through the streets of Mos Espa enjoying a chilled Lokian Wheat Tea when I saw that flapping cockroach coming towards me hacking like a 40 year death stick smoker; spitting some of the nastiest lung butter I have seen onto the sand.  If I didn’t know better I would have said the sand actually fled the slimy concoction.  I moved my hand toward a concealed blaster I picked up at one of the local shops.  He looked far too unsavory for my taste and I wasn’t about to take any chances.  It’s a shame he never gave me an excuse.

“Aren’t you a little young for a clone trooper?” he asked me as he approached.  The comment was certainly forgivable.  I am, after all, the spitting image of my father.

I relaxed the grip on my blaster.  He clearly wasn’t there to do me harm.  At least not conventionally that is.  His body odor on the other hand was wreaking havoc on my olfactory senses.  I tried to hide the repulsion from my expression.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”  I asked him. 

“No, but I’ve heard a few things about you.”  He said with disdain.  “People tell me you’re looking to sell a ship.”

He hacked again and spit right on my shoe.  It took all of my self-control to stop from ripping his stumpy wings out of his back and jamming them up his gelatinous snout.  He started off badly, and was getting worse.

“Do you make a habit out of spitting on people?”  I asked while pointing at my foot.  “That’s a bit rude don’t you think?”

“You should have moved your foot.  You’ve got shoddy reflexes for a clone trooper.”  He spat again at which point I used The Force to deflect it back into his face.

He wiped his face with his sleeve.  “Poodoo! That desert wind!”  He shouted!

I chuckled.  “That’s what you get.”   Then I turned to walk away when I felt his stubby three-fingered hand pawing my shoulder. 

…

OH NO!  Storm Troopers!  That little scumbag must’ve ratted me out.  I have to go.  To Be Continued…

Son of a Clone Trooper - The Last Few Weeks

It’s amazing to me how time seems to evaporate into thin air.    Where did the last three weeks go?  I blame it on the length of a day on Tatooine with those twin suns.  I mean the sun never seems to go away on this desolate hole of a planet.  It’s no wonder the whole thing is made of sand.  What I don’t understand is how some of the most significant events in the galaxy seem to occur here.  I mean all it has are moisture farmers, Jawa scavengers and the primitive head hunting Tusken Raiders.  Well that is unless you are off trying to hunt down a Krayt Dragon to harvest Krayt Pearls from its gullet, which is in and of itself, a veritable suicide mission.  Trust me, I would know.  The only thing it has going for it is as a place to hide. 

Two and a half weeks ago dad and I were relaxing in front of the holo-tube watching some low gravity gymnastics.  Hey, when’s the last time you got to see a hot Twi’lek in vacuform clothing do twenty-seven front flips into a pike spinning back somersault?  Well, until you see it, don’t poke fun at me for watching it.  Anyway, a public service announcement came on featuring Lord Vader himself.  Yeah, as if we don’t have enough issues without Mr. Asthmatic in our living rooms.  Seriously, with our level of medical technology couldn’t they have given that guy a muffler?  I hope stealth isn’t a skill he put too much time into developing before his run in with a lava river.  In any case, I digress.  We were watching the announcement, my father mumbling under his intoxicated breath.  Vader proceeded to tell everyone that there was a Galactic Rebellion being led by Force Sensitive individuals, perhaps even Jedi.  He went on to explain how these rebels destroyed the planet of Alderaan and then vaporized some monolithic Imperial space station designed to revitalize dead planets that was orbiting Yavin IV.  Because of the severity of their transgressions it was to be deemed that anyone possessing Force Sensitivity (as if we have a choice) should be treated as part of the rebellion and would be sought out and detained for questioning.

Dad jumped up out of his seat moving faster than I had ever seen him move.  He had Jawa beer dribbling down his chin while he flailed about.  “What in The Furce are youuu tawkin bout?” he said in a drunken slur. “As if Yavin IV neds revite… revite… oh that wurd.  The whole planit is a jungle!”

It tried to calm him down telling him perhaps that’s where they were developing it.  “Oh youuuu know better ‘n dat Chester.”  He says back.  “That emprer is always up to no gud. Ole rusty lung is just lyin’ to us.”  Did I mention that dad isn’t too fond of Lord Vader?  Well he’s not.  Not even a little bit.

About that time he stumbled back into his recliner turning slightly green.  He promptly took a drink and let out a belch before continuing.  “They shuld blow up Dathomir and send them witches to hell.” 

I thought about it and realized that most of the Narmle locals know I am Force Sensitive.  That could definitely spell trouble for me.  Most people wouldn’t say anything but there are certainly quite a few that would love to cash in on any reward the Empire might be offering.  It was time to beat a hasty retreat and find myself on some outer rim hideaway.  I gathered up my gear, while dad muttered something about “awful sandy hellhole.”  I should have paid attention as I think he was trying to tell me to stay away from Tatooine.

Now here I sit in some rancid cantina with all manner of alien species eyeballing me. I don’t know if it’s because I am a stranger or because I look like a clone trooper.  In any case it makes me nervous.  I definitely need to make sure I stay out of any dark alleys when I leave this place and head back to the hotel.   In the meantime another one of those Tatooine Sunburn drinks sounds good.

So there I was, all packed up in the house trying to figure out the most inconspicuous way out of Narmle and to the first out of the way planet I could find.  Dad was still prattling on, this time about lightsabers and something “pearls.”  Again, I really should have been paying attention.  “Listen pop,” I said.  “I would really love to stay and chat, but chances are there’s a bounty hunter with my name on his to-do list, so I need to get out of here and quietly.”

“I know and if you would shut yer trap fer once an listen I could finish!” he yelled back!  “How do you think I got to this planit?  In a ship that’s how!”

“Yeah dad I know, but that was 20 years ago, fat load of good it does me.” I said back.

“AHA!” he exclaimed while flailing his arm around. “I still have it.  I hid it in the swamp.  Take it and go.”  He sounded remarkably lucid.  Perhaps it was still there.

He grabbed my data pad and drew me a map to the supposed hiding place of his mystery ship.  Even drunk, his map was spectacular, detailed and remarkably close to scale.  That Kaminoan tactical training had definitely embedded in his brain.  I loaded my gear into the speeder, grabbed my data pad and headed off to the ship. 

When I arrived I discovered that not only was the ship intact, but it was a really nice Imperial Lambda Class shuttle.  It must have belonged to a high ranking officer too because it was posh.  I couldn’t imagine what dad had to do to get his hands on that ship.  I can say I am pleased that he kept it.  I jumped into the pilot’s seat pulled up the navi-computer and set a course for Tatooine.  I don’t know why I picked it, but I did.

When I arrived in Tatooine space I figured it wouldn’t be a good idea to just plop down in one of the spaceports.  I got a strange feeling through the force when I thought to myself that I should land on the outskirts of one of the cities just to be safe.  I still don’t know why I got that feeling.  I also figured I would steer clear of landing near a large city.  I was, after all, in a stolen Imperial Shuttle.  I picked the aptly named town of Wayfar to land near.  Yeah, you heard me, Wayfar, and yes it is way far from everything except Jabba the Hutt’s palace and he was the least of my worries.

I landed, opened the ramp and was greeted by an overwhelming wave of dry heat.  It was like running into a brick wall.  I had no idea a planet could get this hot and still be able to sustain life.  I stepped out onto the soft sand and turned in the direction of Wayfar.  I figured I would buy a speeder, come get my gear then sell the shuttle to some local criminal element.  It would likely be worth a pretty penny to a smuggler.

I got about ten paces towards my destination when it crested the top of the dune in front of me.  By it, I mean the biggest lizard I have ever seen or heard of.  They are apparently called Krayt Dragons.  The only thing I knew was that I was forming a puddle of liquid on the sand at my feet.  It looked right at me like some sort of bipedal snack.  I would have jumped back into the ship, but I think the lizard was bigger than the ship.  So I did what any sane person would in my position.  I screamed like a 10 year old Gungan girl and ran in the opposite direction. 

Had I not been Force Sensitive, I would surely have been an appetizer to the giant beast.  Instead, I channeled The Force and ran like the wind.  Despite my insane speed, the monster closed the distance.  It must have covered a quarter mile with a single stride.  It was hot on my heels when I heard the sound of blaster fire. I looked back to see a mob of sand skiffs pelting the giant with blaster bolts.  It broke off its pursuit and turned its attention to the skiffs.  I was mere yards from town so I stopped to watch as the dragon took the skiffs apart one by one, chomping the occupants as it went.  Moments later it was out of sight having destroyed at least 4 skiffs full of people.

…

Well now isn’t this interesting?  I am sitting here writing up this little diatribe about my exploits over the last two weeks when in walks this guy missing an arm.  He’s bitching up a storm about how, the last time he was here, some guy sliced his arm off with a lightsaber.  He says he’s going to sue the cantina for allowing people to carry weapons in a building where alcohol is allowed.

HA! The bartender told him to get bent, reminding him that attached to his severed arm was a blaster he was meaning to use on the guy who cut off his arm.  He then told him to be thankful it was just his arm as not a half an hour later some Rodian got greased by a smuggler in one of the booths.  He then told the guy that if he didn’t leave right that moment, he was going to get fed to something called Carkoon.  I wonder if that’s what the locals call that Krayt that took exception to me a couple weeks ago.

With all that said, I am done with my drink and think I am going to head back to the hotel and turn in.  I still need to get myself back out to the shuttle and get my gear (no I am not that brave), then sell the shuttle and try to get myself better settled in.  I am probably going to be here for a while.  I am a little concerned about posting this entry.  I don’t really want to be discovered but who of any consequence is going to read my journal and compromise my location?