It’s amazing to me how time seems to evaporate into thin air. Where did the last three weeks go? I blame it on the length of a day on Tatooine with those twin suns. I mean the sun never seems to go away on this desolate hole of a planet. It’s no wonder the whole thing is made of sand. What I don’t understand is how some of the most significant events in the galaxy seem to occur here. I mean all it has are moisture farmers, Jawa scavengers and the primitive head hunting Tusken Raiders. Well that is unless you are off trying to hunt down a Krayt Dragon to harvest Krayt Pearls from its gullet, which is in and of itself, a veritable suicide mission. Trust me, I would know. The only thing it has going for it is as a place to hide.
Two and a half weeks ago dad and I were relaxing in front of the holo-tube watching some low gravity gymnastics. Hey, when’s the last time you got to see a hot Twi’lek in vacuform clothing do twenty-seven front flips into a pike spinning back somersault? Well, until you see it, don’t poke fun at me for watching it. Anyway, a public service announcement came on featuring Lord Vader himself. Yeah, as if we don’t have enough issues without Mr. Asthmatic in our living rooms. Seriously, with our level of medical technology couldn’t they have given that guy a muffler? I hope stealth isn’t a skill he put too much time into developing before his run in with a lava river. In any case, I digress. We were watching the announcement, my father mumbling under his intoxicated breath. Vader proceeded to tell everyone that there was a Galactic Rebellion being led by Force Sensitive individuals, perhaps even Jedi. He went on to explain how these rebels destroyed the planet of Alderaan and then vaporized some monolithic Imperial space station designed to revitalize dead planets that was orbiting Yavin IV. Because of the severity of their transgressions it was to be deemed that anyone possessing Force Sensitivity (as if we have a choice) should be treated as part of the rebellion and would be sought out and detained for questioning.
Dad jumped up out of his seat moving faster than I had ever seen him move. He had Jawa beer dribbling down his chin while he flailed about. “What in The Furce are youuu tawkin bout?” he said in a drunken slur. “As if Yavin IV neds revite… revite… oh that wurd. The whole planit is a jungle!”
It tried to calm him down telling him perhaps that’s where they were developing it. “Oh youuuu know better ‘n dat Chester.” He says back. “That emprer is always up to no gud. Ole rusty lung is just lyin’ to us.” Did I mention that dad isn’t too fond of Lord Vader? Well he’s not. Not even a little bit.
About that time he stumbled back into his recliner turning slightly green. He promptly took a drink and let out a belch before continuing. “They shuld blow up Dathomir and send them witches to hell.”
I thought about it and realized that most of the Narmle locals know I am Force Sensitive. That could definitely spell trouble for me. Most people wouldn’t say anything but there are certainly quite a few that would love to cash in on any reward the Empire might be offering. It was time to beat a hasty retreat and find myself on some outer rim hideaway. I gathered up my gear, while dad muttered something about “awful sandy hellhole.” I should have paid attention as I think he was trying to tell me to stay away from Tatooine.
Now here I sit in some rancid cantina with all manner of alien species eyeballing me. I don’t know if it’s because I am a stranger or because I look like a clone trooper. In any case it makes me nervous. I definitely need to make sure I stay out of any dark alleys when I leave this place and head back to the hotel. In the meantime another one of those Tatooine Sunburn drinks sounds good.
So there I was, all packed up in the house trying to figure out the most inconspicuous way out of Narmle and to the first out of the way planet I could find. Dad was still prattling on, this time about lightsabers and something “pearls.” Again, I really should have been paying attention. “Listen pop,” I said. “I would really love to stay and chat, but chances are there’s a bounty hunter with my name on his to-do list, so I need to get out of here and quietly.”
“I know and if you would shut yer trap fer once an listen I could finish!” he yelled back! “How do you think I got to this planit? In a ship that’s how!”
“Yeah dad I know, but that was 20 years ago, fat load of good it does me.” I said back.
“AHA!” he exclaimed while flailing his arm around. “I still have it. I hid it in the swamp. Take it and go.” He sounded remarkably lucid. Perhaps it was still there.
He grabbed my data pad and drew me a map to the supposed hiding place of his mystery ship. Even drunk, his map was spectacular, detailed and remarkably close to scale. That Kaminoan tactical training had definitely embedded in his brain. I loaded my gear into the speeder, grabbed my data pad and headed off to the ship.
When I arrived I discovered that not only was the ship intact, but it was a really nice Imperial Lambda Class shuttle. It must have belonged to a high ranking officer too because it was posh. I couldn’t imagine what dad had to do to get his hands on that ship. I can say I am pleased that he kept it. I jumped into the pilot’s seat pulled up the navi-computer and set a course for Tatooine. I don’t know why I picked it, but I did.
When I arrived in Tatooine space I figured it wouldn’t be a good idea to just plop down in one of the spaceports. I got a strange feeling through the force when I thought to myself that I should land on the outskirts of one of the cities just to be safe. I still don’t know why I got that feeling. I also figured I would steer clear of landing near a large city. I was, after all, in a stolen Imperial Shuttle. I picked the aptly named town of Wayfar to land near. Yeah, you heard me, Wayfar, and yes it is way far from everything except Jabba the Hutt’s palace and he was the least of my worries.
I landed, opened the ramp and was greeted by an overwhelming wave of dry heat. It was like running into a brick wall. I had no idea a planet could get this hot and still be able to sustain life. I stepped out onto the soft sand and turned in the direction of Wayfar. I figured I would buy a speeder, come get my gear then sell the shuttle to some local criminal element. It would likely be worth a pretty penny to a smuggler.
I got about ten paces towards my destination when it crested the top of the dune in front of me. By it, I mean the biggest lizard I have ever seen or heard of. They are apparently called Krayt Dragons. The only thing I knew was that I was forming a puddle of liquid on the sand at my feet. It looked right at me like some sort of bipedal snack. I would have jumped back into the ship, but I think the lizard was bigger than the ship. So I did what any sane person would in my position. I screamed like a 10 year old Gungan girl and ran in the opposite direction.
Had I not been Force Sensitive, I would surely have been an appetizer to the giant beast. Instead, I channeled The Force and ran like the wind. Despite my insane speed, the monster closed the distance. It must have covered a quarter mile with a single stride. It was hot on my heels when I heard the sound of blaster fire. I looked back to see a mob of sand skiffs pelting the giant with blaster bolts. It broke off its pursuit and turned its attention to the skiffs. I was mere yards from town so I stopped to watch as the dragon took the skiffs apart one by one, chomping the occupants as it went. Moments later it was out of sight having destroyed at least 4 skiffs full of people.
…
Well now isn’t this interesting? I am sitting here writing up this little diatribe about my exploits over the last two weeks when in walks this guy missing an arm. He’s bitching up a storm about how, the last time he was here, some guy sliced his arm off with a lightsaber. He says he’s going to sue the cantina for allowing people to carry weapons in a building where alcohol is allowed.
HA! The bartender told him to get bent, reminding him that attached to his severed arm was a blaster he was meaning to use on the guy who cut off his arm. He then told him to be thankful it was just his arm as not a half an hour later some Rodian got greased by a smuggler in one of the booths. He then told the guy that if he didn’t leave right that moment, he was going to get fed to something called Carkoon. I wonder if that’s what the locals call that Krayt that took exception to me a couple weeks ago.
With all that said, I am done with my drink and think I am going to head back to the hotel and turn in. I still need to get myself back out to the shuttle and get my gear (no I am not that brave), then sell the shuttle and try to get myself better settled in. I am probably going to be here for a while. I am a little concerned about posting this entry. I don’t really want to be discovered but who of any consequence is going to read my journal and compromise my location?
